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Your old barrel head
Posted on 2012.02.25 at 08:53
Before I left this conference, I took photos of all the carpets in this hotel. It is aspirational for all you sorry other carpets out there. All sorry carpets are hereby put on notice.
This was the hallway outside of our room. What a thoughtful carpet you are! Here is the lobby:
The lobby was so terrific, it demanded I go to the mezzanine for a proper overview:
I was in Portland for two days. I used to hate conferences, and get very sulky and resentful. Now I tolerate conferences, because I freely go to my hotel room for the afternoon, or leave to explore, or whatever. I answer to ME, Bub, not your sorry conference.
(Our talk went well.) One last carpet:
Ah.
I got nipped by a dog, while jogging, and nearly shit myself. I was by the river, on a path. This big brown dog came up to my waist, with a big old barrel head, and he and his yippy little friend were super excited to say hi to me. I hate dogs. Especially when I'm jogging. I've got my headphones on, I'm half-brained, and just get the fuck away from me.
Anyway, the big dog bit my arm. It was playful and light, but still: big teeth on my arm. I stopped and bellowed "NO!" and got all murky-brained with adrenaline. Then I screamed at the owner, off lounging in the river, "Your dog just bit me! Your dog just bit me!"
(Me scream? That seems so shrill and lame. But I did.)
She came over, in a bikini and dredlocks, and was so abject and apologetic that I calmed down in about two seconds. I had the perverse female urge to apologize myself, perhaps for bothering her. (I refrained.)
I ended by saying "I uh, just think you should know: your dog bites joggers." That was that. I do not like dogs when I'm jogging. (I don't like dogs.)
This was the hallway outside of our room. What a thoughtful carpet you are! Here is the lobby:
The lobby was so terrific, it demanded I go to the mezzanine for a proper overview:
I was in Portland for two days. I used to hate conferences, and get very sulky and resentful. Now I tolerate conferences, because I freely go to my hotel room for the afternoon, or leave to explore, or whatever. I answer to ME, Bub, not your sorry conference.
(Our talk went well.) One last carpet:
Ah.
I got nipped by a dog, while jogging, and nearly shit myself. I was by the river, on a path. This big brown dog came up to my waist, with a big old barrel head, and he and his yippy little friend were super excited to say hi to me. I hate dogs. Especially when I'm jogging. I've got my headphones on, I'm half-brained, and just get the fuck away from me.
Anyway, the big dog bit my arm. It was playful and light, but still: big teeth on my arm. I stopped and bellowed "NO!" and got all murky-brained with adrenaline. Then I screamed at the owner, off lounging in the river, "Your dog just bit me! Your dog just bit me!"
(Me scream? That seems so shrill and lame. But I did.)
She came over, in a bikini and dredlocks, and was so abject and apologetic that I calmed down in about two seconds. I had the perverse female urge to apologize myself, perhaps for bothering her. (I refrained.)
I ended by saying "I uh, just think you should know: your dog bites joggers." That was that. I do not like dogs when I'm jogging. (I don't like dogs.)
