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4 kittens

American Cheese

Posted on 2015.07.26 at 10:42
Hokey Pokey was telling me about the cuttlefish. "They can blow up, and change color, and cut in half to make two copies of themselves."
"I know all about the cuddlefish," I said.
"You do?" he asked.
"Of course!" I said, "Come here, my widdle cuddlefish!" I bear-hugged him and rocked back and forth while he squirmed away. My monologuey cuddlefish.

"The American armadillo uses its feet to get away, like this." He showed me on the rocks. "He's really fast. His only predator is the desert black bobcat." It all sounds plausible. He runs off, plays a little, runs back to tell me a little more, "The desert black bobcat is mostly nocturnal, but in the daytime he camoflauges in the shadows," runs off, etc.


Hawaii was trying to coach Ace to put a pom-pom in this dog's mouth:

which is a dorky incentive system we use to say "that was kind and considerate of you".

Instead Ace wanted to put the pom-pom in here:

"That doesn't make any sense," Hawaii said, patiently, "Put the pom-pom in his mouth, Ace!"
Ace stuck the pom-pom in the back, anyway, and proclaimed, "IT MADE SENSE!"
So it did!

I make sense!


Some household goings on:

1. Our new Yakima Skycoffin:

This rooftop storage coffin is so that we can take the kitchen sink when we drive to Montana, leaving this Wednesday. It even fits our new 100-person tent.

2. Our new light fixtures:

I just eat 'em up. They're perfect.

3. I organized my jewelry on a peg board:

I wish I'd taken a before photo.


At story time, Hawaii rolled around on the couch and shrieked in pain when her ear nudged a story book. She screamed and screamed and would not tell us what was going on.

It turned out her ear was super infected, from her earring. There was pus everywhere, her ear was bleeding, etc. She'd been wearing these cheap pink earrings  from the museum gift shop in Florida. I totally forgot that cheap earrings make your ears hurt. She'd had them in for a few days.  I felt absolutely awful.

The swelling had gone down by morning, and was all better in a few days, but Hawaii is taking a break from earrings. She found the pain awful and frightening, I think. We'll try again in a year or two. I really feel like this was all my fault.


Rascal is sleep-trained. It took about three days. Now we are all growed up. At bedtime, four little kittens each lie down in their one big room, we kiss them goodnight and tuck them in, turn out the light and walk away.

I should really thank Hawaii and Pokey for being such great sleepers. They set an expectation in us, and then we demanded that level from Ace and Rascal, who rose to the occasion. Good job, kids.


This baby is so fierce:

He will fucking cut you.


There were two leftover biscuits and three kids who wanted to share them. MATH.

Hawaii and I discussed out plan. First we'd cut them in half like a hamburger bun, to make four circles of biscuit-halves. Each kid would get one half.  Then, with the last half, we'd cut it in thirds, like a peace sign. Each kid would get one third of the last half.

Hawaii has illustrated this:

The other side has the instructions:

In the red circle:
breakfast treat
biscuits and jelly
on the back"

In the blue star: "remember"


They say that white Americans won't acknowledge that there is such a thing as an American accent.

I won't cut you. Probably.

Anyway: next weekend we're camping in Colorado, along our drive to Montana, so I may not post during the weekend.


Kelly Jennings
Kelly Jennings at 2015-07-26 20:50 (UTC) (Link)


OMG, how much do I love the math plan for sharing out the biscuits?

I would have given them each 1/2 and the other half I would have fed to the dog. But you don't have a dog, as I recall, so there's that.

Poor Hawaii and the earrings.

I am well jealous of your camping trip. I loved camping in the West; we haven't been in years. Have fun!
heebie_geebie at 2015-08-06 17:29 (UTC) (Link)


The earring thing was awful! Oh well. Poor sweetie.

The camping was...sort of exhausting. I'm spending much of 2015 telling myself that this is the high-water mark of parenting and that from here on we'll enjoy feeling comparatively freer and lighter each passing year. I mean, it was fun. But you know.
panisdead at 2015-08-02 18:05 (UTC) (Link)
I keep meaning to say that that's a super cute picture of you, and what is the bottom half of that outfit?
heebie_geebie at 2015-08-06 14:43 (UTC) (Link)
Why thank you! It's a black shift dress. (Actually this one.) I specifically bought it to be a gateway dress that I might wear casually, and overthought the whole process, complete with contingency commitments to myself to return it if I didn't actually end up wearing it out. But I did!
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