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4 kittens

The Worst Parts

Posted on 2015.10.11 at 21:49
"A fall display! A fall display! PLEASE, please, take our photo!" they pled. Really!
"We're late to go camping," I said, "Do we really have to?"
"PLEASE," they cried, and posed like so:

They're pretty cute little weirdos. Way to Olan-Mills yourselves, kiddos.

Here are the worst parts about each kid:

1. Hawaii is a ferociously cranky when you pick her up after school. The kind of crabby jerk that you forget exists if you're mostly around adults, because adults are usually not relentlessly obnoxious on that scale.  But once you have a kid, you remember, "oh my god, I was so unpleasant to my own parents," and feel sort of bad about it.

It's partly that she's just pretty hungry by then, and partly that she's been keeping it together all day at school, and is worn out, and partly just kids-are-jerks.

2. Hokey Pokey is fragile and gets very angry. Nearly all of our parent-teacher conference with his teacher was talking about anger management. "He's at an age where there starts to be natural consequences. Other kids start giving him a wide berth," said the teacher. (The other topic was the pincer grip. All three daycare teachers brought up the pincer grip - Rascal and Pokey both suck at it for finger foods and pencils, respectively. Ace is developmentally appropriate.)

He's pretty good about articulating why he's angry and naming his emotions, but his rages are still intense. He hits and throws things.

3. Ace just sits down when she doesn't want to cooperate. What a two year old.

A month ago, we were walking up the river and she started walking slower and slower.  Then she sat down and fell asleep. That was cute.

Also cute:
- When trying to sign "yes" in sign language, Ace hinges at the shoulder instead of at the wrist, and does a chicken-wing flap. E. Messily says this means "Scotland", approximately.
- When prompted, she holds her arms up and say "BICEPS!" and then pulls them behind her and says "TRICEPS!" back and forth. "BICEPS! TRICEPS!" This is from some Body Fitness thing going on at daycare. "CRANIUM!" she sometimes adds, tapping on her head.
- Dinking around in the bathtub by herself, singing "Poor Old Michael Finnegan" over and over again.

None of those are bad things. All cute.

4. Rascal gets awfully tired.

His TA said,  "The new TA was so amazed at how much Rascal could eat. I told her she should see the rest of the Geebies."
"They are all good eaters," I agreed.

None of the adults in the house have any worst parts. We are all delightfully flawless.

We went camping this weekend at Palmetto State Park, which looks a little like Florida.  Our friend's kid was swimming with a little girl he'd just met, when she was bit by a water mocassin. They are super poisonous. She started shaking and her foot swelled up.

They called 911 and put a tourniquet on her, and it all sounded terrifying. The EMS came and she did survive. Everyone was a bit shaken.

Aside from that (Mrs. Lincoln), camping was lovely.  The kids biked up and down the campground. Biking is one of those things (along with swimming and tying your shoes) that we have utterly failed to teach our kids.  (Mark my words: Hawaii will swear she knows how to tie her shoes and fake it until she is old enough to go on YouTube and teach herself how, and never let on otherwise.) Anyway: while riding their bikes, Hawaii was the slowest, with her training wheels.

"I'm just feeling so sad and frustrated that they wouldn't wait for me," she told me after dinner on Saturday, "It's not my fault my bike is so slow." I hugged her and agreed that was frustrating and I'd feel sad too. "Well, it's getting dark," I continued, "so I think everyone's done riding bikes anyway."
"I wasn't talking about riding bikes," Hawaii grumped. "We were running. It was a footrace."
"Oh," I said (agreeably!), "Well, still since it's getting dark, footraces are probably over."
"I wasn't talking about a footrace," she said, more aggravated. "It was a board game. They were faster at the board game."
"Knock it off," I said, fed up. There was no board game.  Then we squabbled.

(But really camping was lovely! Except it was hot. Today it is supposed to be 95 degrees out, which is why Texas is bullshit.)


E. Messily has a thing with tails lately:

I voted for the Mexican Blanket striped fabric tail, but Pokey opted for the orange. E. Messily cooperatively sewed a  replacement tail for Tigger, for Pokey. (That seems to be a regular plot point with the Hundred Acres crew, isn't it. Maybe they should reinforce their tails.)

I didn't photograph Small Kitty's tail while it was bloody and gross. Now it's just slightly shaved at the base:

Small got outside, got into a quick fight, and her tail got infected. It was super gross. At the vet, E. Messily was holding her and smelly pus got on her hand. But now it's mostly healed.


Our pantry has moths like so:

We have an electric tennis racket for killing these moths. I take it really seriously. My one ally in the fight is this guy:

my pal the pantry spider, who lives way in the back corner here:

He gets me.

(My one companion on the moth fight is Pantry Spider, who appears in the form of a hologram only I can see and hear.)


(Anonymous) at 2015-10-15 00:01 (UTC) (Link)
Pantry Spider helps you set right things which once went moth? hoping your next swipe will be the swipe moth?

heebie_geebie at 2015-10-17 01:36 (UTC) (Link)
And using some sort of amazing technology pocket-sized computer to communicate with people over great distances. With a cigar.
(Anonymous) at 2015-10-15 00:16 (UTC) (Link)


Water moccasins are venomous, not poisonous.
heebie_geebie at 2015-10-17 01:36 (UTC) (Link)

Re: Venom

AUUGH I KNOW I KNOW. How did I forget to use the right word.
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