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4 kittens

Just Pick Up the Ball and Throw It.

Posted on 2015.11.29 at 21:46
Just think, this is the last post my breasts will ever write to you. Tap, tap, tap, you'll never read words tapped out by their pointy points ever again. Say goodbye, everybody!

When you are super pregnant, everybody is constantly inquisitive and excited for you to head to the hospital. When you are actually sick with cancer, people are aware that you are sick and send care packages and warm vibes.  And you all, my blog audience, hear me wax on about my breasts not infrequently, and so you all are aware.

But outside of my household, most people generally forget. Nobody is paying much attention (as should be! That's how people work.) It's odd to have this disconnect between my preoccupation and everyone else's daily grind.  My brother called to check in and wish me best wishes, and I asked him about getting the genetic testing, and he gently stammered, the way someone does if they just haven't thought about it before. (There's no hurry, his daughter is only eight.)
It's good that I scheduled this a long time ago when it was still fairly abstract, and now I can just go through the motions.

Surgery on Friday, and that night I'll put my breasts under my pillow and the Breast Fairy will replace them with these boots:

Just kidding, I already bought them for myself off eBay. I'm my own Breast Fairy.


Let's drop the breast business and have a conventional kid-ful vacation post, from Colorado:

Taken through a screen window. We're in Colorado, where there are no mosquitoes. One of the indignities of flooding was that we've been getting eaten alive by the mosquitoes all November. But here, no mosquitoes.

Instead there was Top Golf:

I yelled out helpful tips for the kids like, "It's just like hitting a pinata!" and "If you want, you can just pick the ball up and throw it!" and thought myself very funny.

This vacation I decided to just wash and dry my bras in the machines (as opposed to by hand, and laying flat to dry). Like a renegade. FUCK IT. They only have to last one more week. (Be the Breast Fairy you want to see in the world.)

Thursday we feasted and I was secretly thankful, since Jammies' family doesn't do overt, explicit thanks. Neither does my family. Neither do I, not without a lot of squirming and discomfort. Secret, private thankfulness is the way to go.


Pokey turned five on Thanksgiving Day:

That night, he threw up all night long. It was a sad and pitiful start to being five. Here is Pokey, the next morning when he was Bob Dylan as a little boy:


Who has the cutest kitty cat slippers?

Ace does.

(They were purchased for formal family photos, organized by Jammies' sister. We all dutifully dressed nicely.

Ace said to Hawaii, "Hawaii, you look beautiful! You look so beautiful!" Ace took Hawaii by the hand, "Come look at yourself in the mirrow!" and led her over to a mirror.

We all looked very nice and eventually I'll post the photos, when I get them.)


On Saturday we drove home from Colorado. We stopped to stretch our legs in Raton, New Mexico:

We bundled up:

New Mexico was pretty:

but cold:

Show us how cold it is, Ace:

Oh my, that is cold.

Hey Jammies, which season do you think we should stay at, on Saturday night, in Amarillo?

Of course: the Fifth Season.

On Sunday, we drove and drove and drove and Texas was gray and ugly:

We got home Sunday night.


What did E. Messily do while we were gone? Oh, the usual:

Doesn't everybody make felted pangolins? Happy birthday, Pokey!

And also:

Because it is almost Hanukkah, the celebration of miniatures and chocolate gelt. Look at the teeny little hinges on each door.  FABULOUS.


(Anonymous) at 2015-11-30 06:33 (UTC) (Link)

Surgery and Pangolins

Good luck with the operation!

Pangolins are one of those things I've never heard of and then in the span of five months they've come up three times: (1) Wonderpets; (2) the Natural History Museum; and (3) from you. Weird!
(Anonymous) at 2015-11-30 13:28 (UTC) (Link)

Re: Surgery and Pangolins

I've been seeing a lot of pangolins for the first time ever too. In kids' books, on youtube videos, etc. They are very weird animals.
e_messily at 2015-11-30 13:29 (UTC) (Link)

Re: Surgery and Pangolins

Whoops. That was me. (the second one)
heebie_geebie at 2015-12-06 22:41 (UTC) (Link)

Re: Surgery and Pangolins

Pangolins are having a moment, for real.
heebie_geebie at 2015-12-06 22:41 (UTC) (Link)

Re: Surgery and Pangolins

Thank you! Keep the luck coming, please. It got postponed.

The videos of pangolins are SO WEIRD.
(Anonymous) at 2015-11-30 13:30 (UTC) (Link)

I Am Anonymous Again WHY

I love your posts so much.

I can't pick which part of this post I loved the most. Maybe the outfits on your kids? Maybe the comments at the golf park? Maybe the Hanukkah Calendar, there at the end?

The breast fairy, probably.

It was all wonderful.

Good look with the surgery. Enjoy the drugs!

(me, delagar)
heebie_geebie at 2015-12-06 22:43 (UTC) (Link)

Re: I Am Anonymous Again WHY

Aww, thank you. I have a high opinion of your opinion, so warm fuzzies all around. Unfortunately, the breast fairy screwed up...
violetsnvalium at 2015-11-30 20:18 (UTC) (Link)
Good luck with the surgery!!

...I had no idea you'd been typing with your breasts all this time.
heebie_geebie at 2015-12-06 22:44 (UTC) (Link)
It's amazing!

Actually, one last breast-tapped post. Then they'll be gone. And thank you.
(Anonymous) at 2015-11-30 20:55 (UTC) (Link)
Good luck with the surgery and recovery!

heebie_geebie at 2015-12-06 22:44 (UTC) (Link)
Thanks! Hang on to that sentiment for a little longer...
lacachet at 2015-11-30 22:11 (UTC) (Link)
I love your posts, too! Hope all goes well with the surgery--
heebie_geebie at 2015-12-06 22:45 (UTC) (Link)
Thank you, Lacachet! Hang on to that sentiment for a little bit longer, please...
(Anonymous) at 2015-11-30 22:27 (UTC) (Link)
Good luck with the surgery! ~trumwill
heebie_geebie at 2015-12-06 22:46 (UTC) (Link)
Thanks! Save the luck for a few more days, please, and then send it over!
(Anonymous) at 2015-12-01 16:02 (UTC) (Link)

Best of luck

Allow me to be the first to say good luck with your surgery/recovery and that those are some very nice looking boots.

Have you considered having the breasts mounted for display on a wall, like a deer head? I suspect any good local taxidermist could do the job. It would make a great conversation piece.
heebie_geebie at 2015-12-06 22:46 (UTC) (Link)

Re: Best of luck

I used to tell my mom that I'd have them stuffed and mounted and I'd give them to her as a present, as she has been anxious for me to have this surgery for some time.
panisdead at 2015-12-02 13:39 (UTC) (Link)
Good luck good luck. I hope everything goes as easily as possible.
heebie_geebie at 2015-12-06 22:47 (UTC) (Link)
Thanks! Save the good luck vibes for just a few more days, please. Funny thing happened...
(Anonymous) at 2015-12-03 08:56 (UTC) (Link)

Good luck!

Good luck Heebie! Wishing you a speedy recovery. Love the breast fairy!
heebie_geebie at 2015-12-06 22:48 (UTC) (Link)

Re: Good luck!

thank you thank you! But save the wishes for a few more days, please!
(Anonymous) at 2015-12-11 17:21 (UTC) (Link)
It's perhaps an inappropriate time to say this, with all you guys are going through, but your pictures and stories really do make me happy and more than a little envious. So much life and color.
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