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4 kittens

If you're willing to read counterclockwise

Posted on 2016.01.03 at 22:32
Hokey Pokey gets creative:

1. building a guitar:



Strumma-strumma-strumma.

2. making a swipe card pass:



and getting indignant when it fails to actually open the key card door lock at daycare. (It says Miles if you're willing to read counter-clockwise)

3. Being Inigo Montoya:



That is a dagger he's pulling out of his waistband, while reciting Inigo's key speech about retribution. The outfit was chosen carefully but I can't explain the significance of the parts.

4. Dictating this exact poem to me:



5. Dictating a story to Hawaii, inspired by Hawaii's epic story. His is illustrated and about 0.02 times as long as Hawaii's novella.



The kitten lived in a house with no mom or dad. He got lost and found a butterfly. He scratched the butterfly.



He found a friend. They took a walk. They found a jumpy place. They went inside. They saw a jumpy castle. He went inside.



6. Throwing the most spectacular tantrums and lashing out violently at the most marvelously trivial transgressions. Adorably dangerous. He's an artist! (How long does therapy take to work, if you're five and go bi-weekly?)

E. Messily

is back.



B. Cattily missed her. Seems better now.

When I was in grad school, I got a teaching award.  Dr. S also got a teaching award, the faculty version, and so we stood side-by-side for a dinky ceremony and also we got maybe $500. Now, Dr. S was a super shitty teacher, and I believe myself to be an excellent teacher. So while I felt like my award was appropriate, I doubted that the judges were able to distinguish good teaching from shitty teaching. It all felt a little hollow, but the $500 was nice.

Jammies and I are like the judges, and the competition is E. Messily's cooking. Sometimes she makes a fabulous meal, and we rave "That's delicious!" and clean our plates. Other times she probably phones it in, and we rave "that's delicious!" anyway and clean our plates. I don't know which occasions are which, they all taste good, but maybe that's a little hollow coming from me.

Nordie's

Nordstrom is where one goes to get fitted for a chic breast prosthetic. You make an appointment. You get lead to a little room, and they pamper you.



The saleslady brought us various sized prosthetics and I tried them on, and settled on a size 4.



Here they look all wrinkly because they do not lay flat very well on a table. They are contoured.

I had a prescription for two prosthetics, four bras, and two camisoles.  Nordstrom's takes prescriptions and works with your insurance company.  I did not like their pocketed bra - they have exactly one pocketed bra - but they will sew a pocket into a regular bra for you.



This is more what they look like. Now, why the fuck would I want a poky nipple on a prosthetic? There were no options.

When you have picked out your breasts and bras, they tell you to wander about the store while they sort things out with the insurance company. This took about an hour.



The back is clear and ripples like water. It's a pleasant tactile experience.

When they finally page you, they have mountains of paperwork on old-fashioned carbon paper. Remember not to stack the different sheets when you write, or you'll inadvertently write on all of the forms! Insurance companies are dinky little mom-and-pop operations, so it's not worth it for them to use computer software.

Finally you find out the cost of everything: about $1000. The prosthetics alone were $650. Insurance covered about 75%. It felt like a bait-and-switch.   I do have nice breasts now. I'm not allowed to wear them yet, and plus they'd hurt right now.

I really want to take photos of the kids holding the breasts up to their bare chests - so creepy! - but haven't yet had a chance.

Winter

I made a sincere New Year's Resolution: I hereby resolve not to leave my clothes on the floor at the end of the day, at least 80% of the time. And also some hokey daily practices mumbo-jumbo about keeping healthful routines.

Sometimes my daddy holds my baby:



Sometimes it is 2011 and Pokey in Montana, sometimes it is 2015 and Rascal in Texas.

Outtakes:



I'm tired and not sleeping very well. About 3 am, every position hurts. It's been a very, very long two weeks, so I think I'll go to bed. Goodnight.

Comments:


e_messily at 2016-01-07 16:19 (UTC) (Link)

"Other times she probably phones it in"

What! I would never.
heebie-geebie
heebie_geebie at 2016-01-11 03:50 (UTC) (Link)

Re: "Other times she probably phones it in"

You should! Phoning in responsibilities is a pleasure.
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