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4 kittens

A Usual Round-up

Posted on 2016.06.12 at 23:02
Rascal now has a conversation, with himself:
First he throws something. Then he says, "I throw!"
Then he holds out his hands and says, "Where iggo?"
Then he points and exclaims, "There it is!" triumphantly. (And lo, there it is.)



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Ace
:

My grandmother has a story about Saran Wrap, and how the serrated edge used to be on the top edge of the box. After you tore off a piece, the raw edge of the Saran Wrap would glom on to the roll, and the next time you wanted a piece, you'd have to find the edge and pick it off the roll.

Then they moved the serrated edge down to the bottom edge of the box. Now when you tear off a piece, the raw edge of the roll stays stuck to the box, for easy access for your next use. "The obvious isn't obvious until it's obvious!" exclaims my grandmother, at the end of this story. You would not believe how long it would take her to tell that story.

Ace has these velcro shoes:



See how the velcro forms a single U shape? It can't slip out of the eyelets. This is my Saran Wrap moment, and I will bore the fuck out of my grandchildren with this uninteresting design improvement. (I will start off with my grandmother's Saran Wrap story and when they think I'm at the punchline, I'll launch into the Velcro Sequel for maximum manipulation of their attention.)

I guess that one wasn't really about Ace. But she just told Jammies, "When I grow up, I want to play hockey with you."   Jammies said, "I know, sweetie. We can do that,"  and Ace said, "Well, you're going to have to hold my hand."  Awwwwwww.

She then said, "When I'm a grown up, do I have to sleep in my same room?" Jammies said no, she could sleep where she wants.  "Good," said Ace, "I'm going to sleep in your room, between you and Mommy. I like your bed."



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Pokey:

Cannot touch his toes. He's maybe mid-shin, when he reaches down. I know that I also was not able to touch my toes as a kid, but it's still startling. He's only 5 years old!

Also he took apart this slap bracelet:



A tape measure?! Like, they destroyed an actual tape measure to make this bracelet? You'd think Big Slap Bracelet could source that at the tape measurer factory and have their stock diverted, just before the yellow paint gets applied.



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Hawaii:

We have a nice routine going where I bark "Son!" and she growls back, "I'm not your son," as taken from the dialogue between Washington and Hamilton.  (After the car crash, Washington says, "I can't operate on Hamilton, he's my son!" He's his DAUGHTER you sexist.)



Also I think she's actually very close to being able to swim?

She seems much more relaxed and happy now that school has ended. I'm not sure what is underlying that.

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Me:

Acquired this bookshelf, on the left:



What a lovely piece of furniture. At the estate sale, it looked like a normal-sized bookshelf in a small room. In our house, it looks like a giant piece of furniture in a very large room. There's some perspective weirdness at play - the estate sale had (metaphorical) big building blocks, but then they were used to make proportionally normal rooms. Our house has (metaphorically) very small building blocks, but used to make proportionally big rooms. It's like comparing a dress with fabric with a giant print (the estate sale house) versus a dress with fabric with a tiny print (our house). The new bookshelf is a boutonniere pinned on each of the two dresses. (Or maybe a Texas homecoming mum.) Pinned to the Texas mum is a very labored analogy.

Also a local politician asked me to have an official position in her re-election campaign. I said, "you should find someone else who wants the publicity. But if you're stuck, I can be back up." A week later she said, "We talked about it, and we chose you!" I wrote back and said, "I really, really don't have time in the fall" and started to panic about over-committing myself.  She said to come to a campaign meeting and try it out.

At the campaign meeting, I got three hours of insider gossip and wow. It was exactly like being a 9th grader and having the seniors ask you to sit with them at the cafeteria.  Half the gossip concerns people you've never heard of, but it all has wonderfully salacious gravitas. It was super fun.

Being a publically-elected official seems awful. Campaigning alone would make me drive off a cliff. But I like the idea of being informed and opinionated, and maybe in a decade I could be a person behind the scenes. I like the idea of having influence.

Jammies: May get shipped out to Korea again next week. We won't find out until the last minute, as usual. I got angry all over again remembering how they shipped him over there for a week when Rascal was three weeks old.  I really, really resent that.

Jammies isn't even assigned to this project. Another guy is on his honeymoon for three weeks, so Jammies would be the substitute if the Koreans demand someone to yell at in person.

E. Messily: has offered to sew me a pantsuit. I'm so incredibly excited. I'm picking fabric.

Maybe a blue floral:


Or a different blue floral:


Or monkeys:


Or a blue floral:


You may recognize that last one from the bag that E. made for me, but I keep coming back to it. It's also available in mustard and green.

Anon: Obviously there was a huge massacre at the gay night club in Orlando last night. It's one of those tragedies that colors everything. I always feet a bit idiotic not acknowledging that something awful occurred, but my reactions are not particularly interesting or notable. Of course I feel horror and shock and sadness, but not in any unique way that anyone needs to read about.

Comments:


(Anonymous) at 2016-06-13 18:49 (UTC) (Link)

Slap Bracelet

Those are made from factory-seconds / scraps from the tape measure factory. Tapes with misprints, blemishes, etc., which would otherwise just be discarded.
heebie-geebie
heebie_geebie at 2016-06-20 03:52 (UTC) (Link)

Re: Slap Bracelet

OMG I can't believe you've drunk the kool-aid! Big Tape Measure wants you to believe they're in cahoots with Big Slap Bracelet. You're playing right into their plan.
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