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4 kittens

Self-piteous Mewing

Posted on 2016.06.26 at 22:14
I need a peptalk. Jammies left for Korea yesterday morning for a week. My parents arrived last night. E. Messily is here. I need a reassuring soothing peptalk (full of lies) about how good a parent I am, and how much energy I have for parenting. And how having four total adults in the household doesn't invalidate my tired whiny puny desire for sympathy.  E. Messily made us dinner. My parents cleaned up afterwards. My poor parents must be exhausted - we all went to the pool, they made cookies with the kids, they stayed in the game all day long. AND YET!  I'm the one who wants sympathy! I want my waahmbulance. (Maybe they want sympathy too, but I've got the mic.)

(At dinner, my mom made a pleasant-smalltalk comment about how wonderful a pianist her friend's seven year old daughter is. How the daughter memorizes songs so easily and plays them so beautifully. My kids did not give a shit one way or the other, but I was zapped intensely, some 30-year old neural pathway just electrocuted with a jolt of lightning. When I was young, my mom would rave endlessly about the talents and virtues of kids in my class, mostly kids that she knew independently of me, from the ballet studio, and I would seethe with super-ugly jealousy and rage. At this moment, in 2016, my thought was more or less, you will not do that shit to my kids. But of course my kids don't care. They're not primed to jealousy of their grandmother. They've got a whole different set of neuroses and anger towards me which I'm whistling by in the dark, which I'm sure they'll explain at length to me in the future. And which will be also unjust to me.)(also what an ungrateful jerk I am! My mom just spent all day playing with my kids and helping keep things from unraveling, and here I am telling a story about an ancient grievance.)

Here is a time I stood on my hands:



I've shown this picture to everyone because I'm so proud of myself. (The box is helping stabilize my arms.)

This feels like a real summer, mostly because I've been in the swimming pool about five times every week. As opposed to last sumer - massive flooding and Pokey's broken arm, and we basically never got in any water. This summer feels American - sunscreen and hot cement and pool noodles. (Hot cement is so USA. You don't know about it, out there.)  The swim lessons are paying off, too - Hawaii swam across the deep end and thus passed a swim test.

Do you know the meme that goes viral every summer, "Drowning Doesn't Look Like Drowning"? The gist of it is that movies have misled us. Drowning isn't thrashy and dramatic, it looks like "climbing a ladder". It's silent. The meme uses that phrase - climbing a ladder, head barely in and out of the water.  The point is to terrorize parents only a little bit. It's a creepy image! Anyway, that is how Pokey swims - like he's climbing a ladder and drowning. He's not very good yet. (At dinner on Wednesday: "It's good," said Pokey, "but my tummy is too full of pool water. I can't eat anything.")

I haven't checked the back deck any morning this week, to see if anyone is sleeping back there. I really thought I would but I guess I'm abentminded.

I guess this kitty litter isn't going to scoop itself. I should sign off and do it. And make the coffee. And prep the kids' school stuff. Shit, I hope nothing needed to be washed. And set the alarm for 4:15 am to take my dad to the airport, in the waahnivan.

Comments:


(Anonymous) at 2016-06-27 03:26 (UTC) (Link)

Wow!

Box or no, that's super-impressive! ~trumwill
heebie-geebie
heebie_geebie at 2016-07-05 04:11 (UTC) (Link)

Re: Wow!

Thanks! It's the best I'll ever do!
Sara
panisdead at 2016-06-27 03:29 (UTC) (Link)
I'm very impressed with your handstand!!

My kitty litter doesn't goddamn scoop itself, either; it sucks. Good job scooping! You can do it!
heebie-geebie
heebie_geebie at 2016-07-05 04:13 (UTC) (Link)
Thanks!!

I will say that cleaning the kitty litter is a whole 'nother ball game now that Jammies is running the show. There are fancy biodegradable bags conveniently stored by the scooper. There is a stool to sit on. There is a dust vac to vacuum up stray litter. All of the minor decision points (where's a nearby bag? does it have holes?) are eliminated. It's weird and much easier.
(Anonymous) at 2016-06-30 03:02 (UTC) (Link)
Having guests, much less parent guests, is exhausting. Hang in there! - J, Robot
heebie-geebie
heebie_geebie at 2016-07-05 04:14 (UTC) (Link)
It's true. Even the best guests (and my mom was one!) are still deviations from your routine.
e_messily at 2016-07-02 17:52 (UTC) (Link)

pep talk

I forgot to leave this comment when it would have been relevant. Whoops.

You did great though! You're the best mom. Everyone agrees. Everyone also agrees that you are smart and funny and attractive.
heebie-geebie
heebie_geebie at 2016-07-05 04:14 (UTC) (Link)

Re: pep talk

Only some of the stuff fell apart and our expectations were appropriately set low enough that we expected most stuff to do so!
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