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4 kittens

Hamburger Jaw Action

Posted on 2016.09.18 at 23:07
The Mermaid Society Ball was magical.  Here is what we wore:

Jammies had bubble juice for his pipe, but he kept accidentally tipping the soap back into his mouth. I had swanky tentacle earrings and borrowed E. Messily's octopus bracelet. (I wore the exact same bracelet at my wedding, but can't find it.)

The ball sold out, 450 tickets in all. Attendees donned formal gowns with seaside accessories. Some menfolk wore tuxedo tops with swimming trunks, others dressed in all white linen.  Somehow there was widespread understanding that you ought to dress fancy and silly, both. It was heavenly.

The mermaid tank:

(See if you can spot the violence inherent in the system.) Mermaids, lacking feet, must be carried over by a few men from whatever backstage dressing area exists. It was awkward and clumpy. For most of the night, there were multiple maids in the tank.

There were also six or seven elderly aquamaids, originals from back in the day, who were proclaimed to be the first Royal Mermaid Court and given sashes and tiaras.

The aerial ballet dancer:

The band played honky tonk two-step music, which is the way you get people on the dance floor, and Jammies and I did cut a small rug. Honestly, honky tonk music clashes a bit with the Shangri La Twas Xanadu vibe of the rest of it, but it sure does reflect the contradictions of this town.

(This was when we first arrived, as the sun set, before it filled up.) I told Jammies that, in 30 years, we'll be able say we've attended all 30 single mermaid society balls.


I walked in Rascal's classroom at the end of the day. He ran over and I picked him up. We chatted about the farm animals he was holding, and then I said, "Okay, go put these back in the barn!" and set him down on the floor, and he complied.

The TA said, "How do you get him to do that?"
I said, "Do what?"
She said, "Pick up his toys. Not hit other kids. Taking toys from other kids. Taking turns. Group time."
I stared at her. "Oh," I said, "We're working on that, too. No idea!"  but what I was thinking was, They're one and a half year olds, you dingbat. Wait for them to turn five?


It's aphid season.  Everything is sticky. Like my car:

It's so thick with stickyness that it forms stationary droplets of sap-like goo. September is the worst month.  Here is a window in our house, facing the tree with the worst aphids:

Here is an opposite window, not facing any aphids, for contrast:


"Are bad guys real?" asked Pokey, on the way to school. We'd been talking about superheroes.
"Oh yeah," answered Hawaii, "They're real. They have weapons. Like lasers, cameras, guns..."
"Cameras aren't weapons!" exclaimed Pokey.
"Security cameras," Hawaii explained (witheringly).  Duh.



Jammies said (over IM), "I just got a phone call from Hawaii at school where she let me know that I accidentally gave her Ace's lunch box again."
E. Messily said, "does that mean Ace has Hawaii's?"
Jammies said, "I mean, it had HER lunch in it, which I informed her of."
E. Messily said, "oh. Got it. I'm very glad the school called you though."

Ace doesn't even get a lunch box at school. How the hell did Hawaii sweet-talk her teacher and the school staff into letting her use the phone over this? She is a smooth talker.

"I'm like freaked out," continued Jammies,  "Has Hawaii taken over the school? Are the adults all dead."  It's a good question.

On a different day, Hawaii had a metal hook fall off her closet door onto the bridge of her nose:

She looks a little like one of the blue creatures from Avatar to me. Poor thing; I think it hurt a lot.



Jammies is out of town this coming week. Ugh argh I can't complain, I have a whole extra adult in the way of E. Messily here.

(But of course I complain because that's my MO. Who would I be if I didn't?)

The weekdays will be totally fine. It's just the weekend days that drag out. Then I lose my temper, my footing, and turn into this mean parent that I can't stand.

A thing Pokey made at the river. The two flowers slide up and down on the stick for a sort of hamburger jaw action.


(Anonymous) at 2016-09-22 20:52 (UTC) (Link)


I don't think you usually use Hawaii's real name... may want to delete in the story of the phone call from school.
heebie_geebie at 2016-09-26 03:22 (UTC) (Link)

Re: Hawaii

Thank you! Fixed.
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