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4 kittens

I would be a flying fish.

Posted on 2017.04.16 at 22:10
What a difference a week makes. Next time I'm weepy about the sheer task of parenting, remind me to take a day off work. This reprieve came in the form of Heebie U being religious, and thus being closed on Thursday and Friday, whereas regular old secular public schools in Texas only close on Good Friday. (Yeah, I know.) So I had a true day off on Thursday.

(Speaking of Texas schools: Hawaii came home and said, "Ms. D said I wasn't Jewish."
"What?" I said.
"She was telling us about Passover, and she said, 'Since nobody here is Jewish...' and I said that I was Jewish," said Hawaii, "and then she asked me if we celebrate Hanukkah, and I said yes. And then she asked me if we celebrate Christmas, and I said yes. Then she said, 'Then you're not Jewish.'"
I was flabbergasted. Partly, obviously, because of my own baggage about my family's extreme self-loathing assimilationist version of Jewishness - I just want my kids to not feel so conflicted and mixed up about their identity.

Anyway I emailed Ms. D to clarify, and she confirmed the story the way Hawaii had told it. Then I wrote something mealy-mouthed about how we're raising Hawaiii in both traditions, and that was that.)(Did we do anything for Passover? Nope. We just mentioned that it was in progress, to the kids, and what it entails.)

(Oh man, and then my friend told the following story: his student was a freshman in high school. He wore a yarmulke on Yom Kippur. The teacher told him that hats aren't allowed in the classroom. He said, "It's Yom Kippur." The teacher said, "Yes, but you're not Jewish." The kids said that he was. The teacher sent him to the principal's office. Ah, Texas. That high school is very close, but serves a much more conservative base than Heebieville. This happened two years ago, not in the distant past.)

Anyway, I had Thursday off, home, entirely to myself, and it was lovely and rejuvenating and I was once again full of patience.  (Oh while you're reminding me of things: if I'm suddenly boiling hot, several days in a row, ask me if I'm remembering to take my HRT. Otherwise menopause begins.)

"If I could fly, I would be a flying fish," by Pokey. The detail is kind of mesmerizing. In the top left corner, it says "YOU". In the left, midway up, "ME", labelling a flying fish. There are pirates in boats, there are fish eating other fish, there are things with ferocious teeth...it's a world.

Also de Pokey:

Whoa, some sort of ancient relic text! From the woods behind our house! And by "woods" I mean scrappy undeveloped buffer edging the river. Which flooded thoroughly during torrential rains last Monday.

Is it some forgotten language?! Maybe sorcery?

Well, sort of both, yes.

Another book, courtesy of Ace:

This Book is about a fairy who wished to fly in the summer.

Once upon a time, there was a fairy who wished to fly in the summer. She sat on the moon and took naps on a toon. The next day was summer. She flew in the summer and leaves got stuck on her wings! The end!

Her next adventure is in the sea, where mermaids live.

Just a teaser, to get you excited for the next volume in the series.

It took me six tries to get this photo to upload:

of Jammies making Easter pancakes for the kids. Each upload attempt takes a while for the computer to spin, try to upload, and finally give up.

Apparently this is because our internet is shitty. About two months ago, our internet provider sent a letter saying, "Good news! We're upgrading your speed at no additional charge!" which must mean that it was cheaper for them to bring us inline with everyone else than maintain our old level of service.  Since our upgrade, it has been cutting out and dropping constantly. It's harshing my mellow.

Do I have the patience to upload the seven additional photos that I've planned for this post? It will be a real-time blog extravaganza!

One photo down!:

All to make the pun, "Pre-Easter/Post-Easter."  I almost posted that joke on Facebook, to accompany the chorus of "he is risen" in my feed, but I'm just gunshy about posting anything there. I don't like the way all the groups of people in my life merge and talk to each other. I'm too lazy to divvy them into groups. I like this secret hangout, frankly.

Oh, these next three crack me up. Let's see if they'll upload.

Jammies was sorting Easter baskets post-egg hunts, and this nail was in Pokey's basket. Jesus indeed.

Ace had a Reese's peanut butter cup that she mushed up (in its wrapper), and made a little pillow for this chick. Then she did this:


We're in the home stretch of photo-uploading! Just three more, obligatory ones of the kids hunting for eggs!

Terrible angles!

No faces!

In the distance! Who cares, they uploaded!

Did you know that I'm aware of the irony that I began this post complaining about a Jewish/Christian identity crisis, and then I barely mentioned Passover in passing while dwelling on the all the secular Easter crap that took a good four days of our time? I am aware!

There's just a lot of Easter going on in this town. Being completely neutral and passive means you're going to do a bunch of secular Easter stuff. Cascarones ahoy.

One last story: we got a zillion little flyers to different Easter Egg hunts all over town. Jammies ended up taking the kids to a small one on Saturday morning.  It turned out that there were only six kids there.
"Kid with the most eggs gets $10, biggest egg gets $7, and least eggs gets $3!" they announced. Everyone gathered eggs, returned, and counted their eggs. Hawaii had 11 eggs, Pokey had 7 eggs, Rascal had 5 eggs. (Ace and I stayed home.)

The organizers announced that a bunch of eggs had not yet been found and sent the kids back out again. When they came back the second time, Rascal had 7 eggs, and Pokey now had...5 eggs.  He had divested his supply, shall we say.

Then they announced that they had more money than they expected. The most eggs winner ended up with $30, the biggest egg got $25, and sneaky Pokey schemed his way to a cool $15. Nice work if you can get it, kid.


(Anonymous) at 2017-04-17 16:55 (UTC) (Link)

Jewish PLUS!

We used to do both Passover and Easter -- at least the eggs and candy part -- and our kid gets Christmas'd via my parents. And in ANY case, how is it this teacher's business to decide how Jewish or not Jewish one of her students is? Seriously.

(Anonymous) at 2017-04-17 16:56 (UTC) (Link)


I'm still anonymous. WHY.

That was me, delagar
(Anonymous) at 2017-04-17 21:29 (UTC) (Link)

Re: Jewish PLUS!

I came to say the same thing. Where do these people get off being arbiters who determine what activities are sufficiently Jewish? If a kid says she's Jewish, shouldn't that mean she's most likely Jewish?! And for the teenager, come on! I can't imagine anyone who would try to get around a no hats rule by wearing a Yarmulke. That's so fucking stupid!

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