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4 kittens

Doused Liberally

Posted on 2017.05.07 at 22:50
What the fuck is this thing?

It was in our front yard. I'll tell you what it is: a dirty men's undershirt, with a leather shoelace tied around the bottom, and the other end of the leather shoelace is tied around a ziploc bag, which has been snipped off about two inches past the knot, so that it doesn't function as a bag.

I can't fathom what it was for or why it was in our front yard, though.

I threw it out.


Hawaii leveled up this past weekend: we allowed her to walk by herself to a friend's house, about four blocks away. It involved mild direction-remembering and street-crossing.

I guess in this day and age, we are mildly violating a community norm about unaccompanied minors. By historical standards this is no big deal. Also, the friend has ridden his bike over to our house before, though, which we thought was fine.

I continue to take Hawaii (and Pokey) to the grocery store on alternate weekends, to help me shop. Hawaii continues to be a great help, and Pokey is pokeying.

Hawaii asked, "Can I have a computer?" which is new. Usually she wants a phone.
"For what?" I asked.
"So that if I write a play, we can print it out."
We reassured her that she could use our computers to write her play, and so she has been busily doing so:

The three friends, and their best adventure yet
By: Hawaii
characters:Emily,Ben,Ana, Narrator, Ms. Nessie, Ms. Crag, Ms. zellabell,
And Mr. Jones

(Narrator) “Once upon a time there were three friends who got along and had many adventures.” “But one adventure was so special they would never forget about it…”

(Emily) “Come on guys or we’ll be late for the bus!”

(Ben & Ana) “Coming!”

(Ana) “I’m so excited for the new summer camp!”

(Ben) “I heard there was a party, it was a grand opening celebration yesterday at the park.”

(Emily) “Come on, the bus is here!”

(Narrator) “On the bus…”

(Ben) “This morning I almost forgot my books, can you believe it!”

(Ana) “Ben, you’re so interested in the studying part, but don’t forget there’s also fun parts like Fishing and Soccer.”

(Emily) “Look!” “We’re almost there!
(Ben) “Here we are, (sigh) camp wild life.”

(Emily) “The camp counselors are giving cabin assignments over there.” “Come on!”

(Ana) “look me and Emily are in cabin Peacock and Ben, you’r in cabin tiger.”

(Emily) “Come on Ana, cabin peacock is this way!”

(Ben) “I think cabin tiger is this way.” (sigh)

(Narrator) “Two minutes later in cabin peacock…”

(Ana) “Emily, come here, let’s share this bunk bed.” “It looks real cozy.”
(Emily) “I’m way ahead of you Ana, here are the life jackets, fishings first.”

(Ana) “Come on!” “Let’s not be late.

(Narrator) “At the dock…”

(Emily) “Look, Ben’s already there.”

(Ana) “I wonder why, Ben’s always last.”

(Emily) “Hello Ben.”

(Ben) “Hi.”

(Ana) “Whats wrong?”

(Ben) “Nothing.”

(Emily) “You seem sad.”

(Ben) “I’m just not use to sleeping away from home.”

(Emily) “Don’t worry I got your back.”

(Ben) “And Ana, right?”

(Emily) “Sure.”

(Ben) “Speaking of Ana, where is she?”

(Emily) “There she is, she’s already fishing.” “Come on!”

(Ben) “Okay.”

(Ana) “There, that’s four fish.” “Did you catch any Ben?”

(Ben) “No.”

(Ana) “How about you, Emily?”

(Emily) “Two.”

(Narrator) “At lunch…

(Ana) “Cool, we get to eat our own fish that we caught!”

(Ben) “But I didn’t catch any.”

(Emily) “Don’t worry, we can share mine.”

(Ben) “Wait, never mind Mr. Jones is giving out fish that he caught.” “Be right back.”

(Ana) “Follow me!” “Quick, whall Ben’s not looking!”

(Emily) “Where are we going.”

(Ana) “Just trust me.”

(run to bathrooms)

(Emily) “The bathrooms?!”

(Ana) “Yes.”

(Emily) “Why?!”

(Ana) “Come here.”

(lock pretend stall door)

(Emily) “Uhhh, why did you just lock us in the stall?”

(Ana) “We need to talk.”

(Emily) “About what.”

(Ana) “About Ben.”

(Emily) “What do you mean?”

(Ana) “He’s been acting strange.”

(Emily) “Oh yeah, he already told me.” “He just isn’t use to sleeping away from home.”
(Ana) “Not that.” “I mean he’s acting strange.”

(Emily) “What?!”

(Ben) “Ewwwwwww!!!

(Emily) “What was that?”

(Ana) “Oh no!” “Come on.”

(Narrator) “Back at the lunch room…

(Emily) “BEN!” What happened!?”

(Ben) “Uhhh.” “Eww.”

(Ana) “You look sick.”

(Mr. Jones) “Stand back.” “I’ve called the doctor.” “Allow me to introduce Ms. Nessie.”

(Ms. Nessie) “Hello children.” “I’m Ms. Nessie.” “Now, where’s my patient?”

(Emily) “Right here.”

(Nessie) “Stand back!” “Let me see him.” “Hmm, Hmmmm, AHA!” “I must take him to my office.”

(Emily & Ana) “Can we come?” “Please.”

(Ms. Nessie) “I’m afraid not.” “Sorry children.” “By the way, what is his name.”

(Ana) Ben, and I’m his sister.” “Now can I please come?”

(Ms. Nessie) “NO!” “Now stand back.”

(Narrator) “The next morning…”

(Emily) “Wake up!”

(Ana) “What?” (groan)

(Emily) “What was it that you wanted to tell me?”

(Ana) “Forget about it, let’s check on Ben.”

(Emily) “We don’t have time, we’ll be late for the nature hike.”

(Ana) “Oh okay.”

(Narrator) “At the nature hike…”

(Emily) “Look, Ben’s already there.” “Again.”

(Ana taps Ben on shoulder)

(Ana) “Hi Ben.”

(Ben) “Hello.”

(Emily & Ana) “AHHH!”

(Emily) “Ben you… you… your… GREEN!”

(Ben) “Really, I feel quite fine.”

(Ana) “Well, now that your feeling better can you tell us what happened?”

(Ben) “Okay.” “So I went up to Mr. Jones and asked for a fish.” “But when he gave me a fish it was all gray and black.” “When I sat down and took a bite it was brown and hard on the inside.” “And that’s when it happened.”

(Ana & Emily) “WHAT!?”

(Ben) “I was rellamcelled.”

(Ana & Emily) “WHAT?!!”

(Ben) “I read about it in one of my books.” “It’s a story from ancient town: Aceal.”
(Ana) “Oh yeah, mom use to read about it to us when we were three!”

(Emily) “I don’t get it.”

(Ana) “Aceal was an ancient town.” “In their town they had many believes because they were always making up new ones.”

(Ben) “But one day the people of Aceal found out that one of their believes was true!”

(Ana) “It was the tale of the three witches.” “Their name were nesame, Cragenell, and the worst of them all… zelambelker!”

(Emily) “Yeah yeah, but what do you mean by rellamcelled.”

(Ben) “Well, Zelambelker had a dream since she was five.” And it was to rule the world.”

(Ana) “So one day she thought of a way to do it!” “She became an inventor!”

(turns to audience, points to Ana & Ben, shows coocoo

That's it so far!  It's super long. At this pace it will be a season-long TV show. I do hope she finishes it.

What else, Hawaii-style?

Dear Mom, I was passing notes in class to a boy and it said "I love you". From, Hawaii.

Sign and Return

1. [snicker.]
2. Oh, shove it, Ms. D. This isn't 1950 and we don't need a special note in Hawaii's handwriting admitting that she was being romantically precocious.


Pokey only got sent to the principal's office once this week. Good job, Pokey.

Have I forgotten to mention that Pokey has learned to read? Pokey has learned to read. Good job, Pokey.

Pokey was invited to do a Ballet Folklorico thing for Seis de Mayo on Saturday.

It was adorable.  He had to wear jeans for his costume. In his drawer, he had two pairs of jeans:

One is 5T girls, and one is 5T boys. Isn't that super weird that they expect the 5 year old girls to be so much tinier than the five year old boys? So darn weird.

After the dancing, we ate fundraiser food. I thought this looked good:

First, the woman took a big dill pickle and cut it into four spears, which formed the base of the dish. Then she put chopped jicama, cucumbers, peanuts, gummy bears, and these things that looked like Twizzler strands but were actually Salsaghetti:

Then the whole thing was doused liberally with chili-lime sauce and chili-lime powder.  In the end, I was served this:

Those dark green things are gummy bears. It was super weird, but I liked it.  It just tasted overpoweringly of lime-chili. The rest was texture.

We sat outside and ate.  Hawaii was hugging on me. The day was beautiful and we were all sharing a happy content feeling, and I asked Hawaii curiously, "How come you don't like it when I hug you when I pick you up from school?"
She smiled indulgently, "Because I'm in such a bad mood!" she explained cheerfully. Silly mommy!

It was a stunningly beautiful day for a Seis de Mayo celebration.

[Me and Jammies]

We have officially decided to elevate our house instead of move. We are raising it about 3', to be 7' above ground. This puts us at the 500 year flood plain.

The worst part is that we have to move out for 1-2 months. Ugh.  I'm dreading this, but it's becoming increasingly real.

[Me and Hawaii]

Hawaii taught us all a song about making a purple stew, where you add various purple ingredients and the list grows ever longer.

As I sang along, it occurred to me that Hawaii and I have identical singing voices. It was surreal. It was like having multiple tracks of myself layered on top of each other.  Hawaii and I were in stereo together.


I'm going to cautiously declare my neck trauma to be healed. I do my neck exercises religiously, three times a week. The cartilege still feels a little creaky, but I'm no longer scared of the pain if I give a reflexive neck-jerk, if there's something flying through the air at my head or a kid lunges at me.

Similarly: when I started at xfit and we had a warm-up run, it used to drive me crazy that everyone bounded out of the gym at full gallop. We're supposed to be warming up! Our muscles are creaky and we must move gingerly until we warm up, or else it hurts!

But now, I'm able to gallop out, from a cold state, as well. It's nice to have the occasional indicator of progress, because it sure as hell doesn't show up anywhere else.


I'm busily finalizing my tattoos. I still have a questions about the Mommy and Daddy cat and the overall configuration, but I've got the four kittens selected:

The kids were spontaneously able to identify which kid was which kitten, which pleased me enormously.  The theme is that I wanted to capture the essence of each kid at age 2.  Can you identify which kitten is whom?


(Anonymous) at 2017-05-08 14:12 (UTC) (Link)
I am not as familiar with Pokey and Hawaii at 2 as I am with Ace and Rascal. I am going to say that Ace is the tiptoeing (because she reminds me of my younger) one or the meowing one ("A store that sells nothing!"). For Rascal, I want to go with the kitty on its back, but suspect that may be Pokey. I can see him as the one scowling in concentration, too, but I wonder if that one isn't Hawaii?

Her play is awesome! I want to hear what happens next. What is rellamcelled, and how did it happen? Or am I overly caught up in the details?

Heebie, what's in the pill organizer? Are those coffee beans or deer turds?

heebie_geebie at 2017-05-15 04:56 (UTC) (Link)
Answers are up! Yowling = Rascal, Belly = Ace, kneading = Pokey, and concentration = Hawaii. I must say that the older two especially don't exhibit much of their old key characteristic anymore.

I'm very worried that the play will be shelved indefinitely. She's kind of swamped by projects (of her own choosing) at the moment, and the camera is getting all the love. Maybe when she runs out of film she'll resume.

haha. Those are regular old hormone replacement pills, from my hysterectomy. I was told at one point that they're made in some excruciating awful way from horse hormones, which I haven't researched out of dread of finding out that ethically, I'm obligated to find a new rx.
Kelly Jennings
Kelly Jennings at 2017-05-08 15:42 (UTC) (Link)


I can't even with the kittens. I'd go with Pokey for the meowing one, and that's all I've got.

I too want to know what rellamacelled is!

When I was just a little older than Hawaii, I had to write and bring a similar note home, but it was for a far more wicked offense. I can still remember the exact note:

Dear Mom,

Today in class I told Thomas Guemillion that he ate dog shit.

Your daughter,


Sign and return________________________

(In my defense, Thomas Guemillion was a mean little creep who probably grew up to become a White Nationalist.)

heebie_geebie at 2017-05-15 04:58 (UTC) (Link)

Re: Kittens?

I love that you told that Thomas kid to eat dog shit. I'm 100% sure he deserved it.

Rascal is actually the yowling loud one, as he does more steady-state yelling than any child we've had. Answers are up! Yowling = Rascal, Belly = Ace, kneading = Pokey, and concentration = Hawaii.

I'm worried about the play being shelved altogether. It was really a long plot arc that she initiated at that pace of dialogue.
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