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4 kittens

An Aechmea Fasciata Variety of Bromeliad

Posted on 2018.02.11 at 21:47
Tomorrow is my dad's 75th birthday. We kind of all forgot. I felt a little bad when my mom reminded me - 75 is a pretty big birthday. I ordered him an oven mitt with the x-ray of a hand printed on it, and a ton of candy bars and cookies. Precisely 74 candy bars and cookies, and then the oven mitt makes 75.

He'll groan when he sees it all, but he's also impossible to shop for. What makes him happy is his daily routine, and what makes him unhappy is deviations from his daily routine. The man is very happy, but wants for nothing. So he's getting a bunch of chocolate and an oven mitt.



The never-ending, ice cream eating illustration,by Hawaii. I believe the cat is eating the original ice cream, and then those are zoom lines to show you that the bowl of ice cream is about to dig in to a smaller bowl, which is about to eat a smaller bowl, and so on in fractal-trippy-sugary-goodness forever.



I needed this gorgeous plant - an aechmea fasciata variety of bromeliad - from HEB.

I had my 40th birthday well-visit to the doctor, possibly my first such thing since childhood. Apparently I don't have 20-20 vision nor perfect cholesterol anymore, both of which are sort of a bummer. According to the eye-chart, I'm more like 20-40 in my right eye, and 20-25 in my left eye. It would be fun to pick out glasses frames, but I don't know about the ongoing hassle of keeping track of your glasses.

In celebration of my birthday, I bought some fancy sunscreen moisturizer and resolved to be more disciplined about wearing sunscreen daily.

.....

It's time for our latest collection of masterpieces. The following gallery is mostly by Ace, fall 2017-winter 2018:



Girl, Purple Hair, in Green; I need to bring this to Ashley.  Made during the artist's Valentine phase, 2018.




The provenance of the signature has been confirmed, although it's believed an ammanuensis contributed to the script.



Untitled: hand and maple leaf. The scale of the maple leaf represents the fleeting size of a four year old's hand. Large and small, autumn and spring, coexist yet never simultaneously.



Bug, a Diagram.  With its Rorschach overtones and saturated jewel tones, Bug is part science, part brooch. The chompers and eyes are oriented at the top, while the feet are noted at the bottom, asking us, "Are we all not oriented face up, at bugbirth? Who amongst us does not put their enameled chompers into the world?"



Clearly an homage to Plato's Cave, Three Dinosaurs takes a prehistoric bent on what shapes we see when we think we see dinosaurs.



Snailman Holding Ice Cream At Night. The chocoloate chips of the ice cream only serve to highlight the lack of stars on this dark, purple night. The Snailman is known to be part cinnamon bun, part yin-yang, all haunting.



Living Victorian Desk with Paramecium Head. At this point, the artist was experimenting with alternative life forms. Like Snailman, Victorian Desk riffs on the everyday, yet asks us, "Are these really legs, that do not bleed?"



Prism Rainbow Girl. Here the artist reveals her familiarity with folk art associated to her demographic. Rainbows, shapes, green dots for knees - these are established tropes that the artist successfully conveys her reinvention thereof.



"There's a sceptor coming out of my nose!"



"Hey, here's the zombie mask Ace was telling you about, if you want a photo of it."



The artist's younger brother, Rascal, delves into art himself, and is really into cars.



The apple, dipped red, with the panopticon photo view of its own construction, attached. While biblical, it is also pre-deluvian in its innocence.

...

"Mom! Mom! Come quick!"



"It's balanced on my head! Take a picture!"

For Valentine's Day, Pokey is supposed to bring in vanilla ice cream. How exactly do you send ice cream in with your kid? Is he going to remember to take it out of his backpack? Or will it slowly soak through and around lunch time, some kid steps in something wet and asks the teacher why it smells so good by the cubbies?

Pokey's friend is assigned to bring Big Red soda for the class. That's pretty much the polar opposite of carob-and-date oatmeal cookies. Big Red is a carbonated tooth-ache. Texans are obsessed with it, and it transcends all racial lines. It's pretty fucking gross, and probably single-handedly responsible for a third of the obesity epidemic in Texas (and I'm not really kidding there) but I'm also not particularly concerned about a Valentines Day party for my kid. They must be making something red, white, and pink. I'm just saying: Big Red makes a statement that we are way out of step with the sugar-scandalized norms of the rest of the country.

...

Hawaii begged us to go buy little plastic bags so that she could make individual goodie bags for everyone in her class, for Valentines:



Each one contains a tiny box of Nerds, a valentine's card, and a bouncy ball. It just never would have occurred to me to make goodie bags, either when I was in 3rd grade or when I am 40 years old. Hawaii really is a sweetheart.

......



I will never tire of the ongoing portrait series, "Four Slack-jawed Kids Immersed in the Television Set." For the record, they were watching Winks this time. Wikipedia tells me:

Winx Club is an Italian animated television series directed, created and produced by Iginio Straffi[2] and his company Rainbow S.r.l. in co-production with Rai Fiction.[3][4]

It aired on Rai 2 in Italy from 28 January 2004, while for the sixth season was moved to Rai Gulp in 2014. The series is the first Italian cartoon to be sold in the United States;[3][5] it was first licensed and dubbed into English by 4Kids Entertainment, and aired on Fox's programming block 4Kids TV (formerly FoxBox) beginning on June 19, 2004.

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