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4 kittens

Explain both of the entendres, please.

Posted on 2018.05.13 at 22:51
So, how's your lice? Oh, good.

Oh, us? why yes, our incurable town illness is experiencing a flare-up. Thanks for your concern.

Oh, me? You want to know if I personally have or have had lice? Shut up, yes, there was one louse and some nits in my hair.  Yes, I've spent hours and hours this past week with the nit comb.



Mommy Louse <3 Daddy Louse. (Okay they're spiders, or at least they have a web. Ask Ace.)

How did I get lice? I'm not a kid.



Oh, this louse-y cuddle bug who climbs in bed with us every night with his grimy infested head. C'mere, you snuggler.

...

It's Extra Birthday Day! What loot did I get Mother's Day?



Lovely homemade cards and various trinkets that the golden schoolteachers coax the kids into creating. Jammies got me a technology thing to help me find my keys when they walk off.



Book is from all the kids - "Mama likes to be funny!" they reasoned, yellow paperweight from Hawaii, handprint imprint from Rascal. The handprint was not on the normal brittle clay, but on some odd spongy material.

The thing about joke books is that it's basically Have Fun Explaining Idioms to Your Kids:



See, "working for peanuts" is a thing that people say when they're not getting paid much, but elephants are supposed to like peanuts, but no, I don't really know if they like peanuts or not in real life, it's just something people say.

See, "cats have nine lives" is a saying that means that cats are curious and seem to defy death with the physical risks they take, and they must be lucky and have spare lives. "Frogs croaking" is a joke because sometimes when someone dies you say they croaked.



Embroidery is how you draw with thread. Needles can mean pine needles or sewing needles. There's a phrase, "if at first you don't succeed, try try again," which no one says much anymore, but babies cry a lot.  A giggle box is what people sometimes call someone that giggles a lot.

What about this one? Explain this one? explain this one? explain this one? explain this one.   Explain both entendres of the double entendre, please.

...

The baseball season is over. Pokey himself hadn't hit the ball in a month of games, and he finally got two nice hits, during this last game, and I whooped-shrieked with relief. Peak-End experiences and all that.

(Pokey's team came in second overall and thus got trophies.)(Also there was a karate tournament I missed due to graduation. More trophies.)

Mr. Neil, Pokey's after school counselor - all of 23 years old, maybe - came to watch Pokey and the twins play their last baseball game of the season.  I found it incredibly sweet that this kid, albeit the grown kind, came out to his afterschool kids play, on a Saturday morning. People are so lovely.



(Blooming artichokes.)

Pokey is also experiencing his ritualistic spring deterioration, where he starts snarling at his peers and gets angrier and angrier, and we get calls from his fed up teacher. I have a conference with her on Tuesday.

We've reinstituted a point system and bribes: baseball cards, this year, is his bribe of choice.



(Baby ducks!)

Also Pokey:
Pokey: I like to pretend that life is a game. Like a video game.
Me: me too! I think that's a nice way to think about what we want in life. What kind of game do we want to play.
Pokey: and money is like the coins that you get for doing stuff, that you can trade for items you want.
Me:...
Pokey: And your body is like your health score that can get worse. Or better. And you can die.
Me:...

...

Ace:  "These are headphones! And that's a keyboard and it connects to your house so you can play home music!"



Ace also got rid of the doll she'd bought with her own money:



She kept saying it would give her nightmares, because the more she played with it, the more the face would get bent. She flat-out wanted it out of the house. I felt bad that she'd wasted her birthday money on it, but she was just worried we'd make her keep it.

Also it had a weird stickiness, for being 18 years stuck in the commemorative Y2K box it came in.

...

Hawaii's first day of STAAR testing is tomorrow. Third grade is the first year you get tested.

They amp the kids up to frenetic levels of anxiety. Our friend's kid, B, kept nagging our friends this evening that it was time to GO. We were all sitting around, enjoying a Mother's Day sunset on the back porch and eating Taco Cabana.   B kept coming out back and reminding her parents that she wanted to be in bed by 8:30, and so they needed to leave by 7:45 at the latest.

Hawaii wasn't as nervous as B, but she wasn't immune to the high stakes.



This is Hawaii's camo garb. They were instructed to wear camo on Friday, and the 3rd graders go on a big parade march throughout the school, in lockstep, doing a call-and-response "I DON'T KNOW BUT I'VE BEEN TOLD" riff wherein the 3rd graders let you know that they are really bold and boastful about doing well on the STAAR test.

...

Hawaii is very into her baking recipe book she got for her birthday. She made our neighbor a cake-in-a-mug for our neighbor's 10th birthday today. Here's the shopping list:



What's with the colors?



Ah!

The cake turned out fine. It was weirdly simplistic: butter, egg, cocoa and sugar. No flour or anything. And then you put it in the microwave.

(It's clearly supposed to be a single serving for single women to make for their night in with their cats, when they don't want extra cake leftovers.  Whatever, I'd totally hit that.)

...

It's a tattoo day! Our friends all came over today and tubed the river, and I skipped out on them to go get needlepointed, embroidered, and pine needled.

Original Ace Kitten:



Stenciled Ace Kitten:



Final Ace Kitten:



I'm pretty happy with the face and most of it.  I love how the paw is draped over the edge of my shoulder.

(I've instituted a rule where I'm not allowed to panic for the first three days after I get a tattoo. There is a detail that I may choose to panic about.)

Let's put them side by side!



It's pretty great.

Pokey's Kitten's eyes passed the 3 day waiting period, and I still felt panic, and so I texted the tattoo artist, and she fixed his face this session. I'm incredibly relieved about that.

Before:



Wonky eyes. Left eye too high.

After:



Left eye now opposite the right eye. Old left eye transformed into the left eyebrow, as originally intended in the stencil.

If I stare at it for too long, I can get up inside my head, but basically I'm relieved.

...




Grades are graded, graduates crossed the stage, end of year workshops are this week. I should have the feeling of empty summer stretching in front of me, but I don't yet.

Comments:


Deb
lacachet at 2018-05-14 05:56 (UTC) (Link)
I love the tattoos--do the kids know them?
Deb
lacachet at 2018-05-14 05:58 (UTC) (Link)
I meant--do the kids know about them? Or are you keeping it a surprise? Just wondering--- :)
heebie-geebie
heebie_geebie at 2018-05-21 03:01 (UTC) (Link)
They do! And they know which one represents each kid. Rascal didn't really get it until his kitten was shaded in, but then he was very interested. Ace was very excited to see herself shaded in, and likes to give the kitten a kiss, which is the sweetest thing.
************
violetsnvalium at 2018-05-14 13:39 (UTC) (Link)
OH MY GOD is a giggle box a thing? I thought it was a joke for "goggle box". Can you maybe tape yourself explaining the idioms and make it available for download? This would be useful to many people, I feel.

stupid joke books pfff
heebie-geebie
heebie_geebie at 2018-05-21 03:03 (UTC) (Link)
A giggle box is definitely a thing! It's used somewhat dismissively for little girls, in particular, I think.

Maybe I should start a Heebie Explains the Idioms podcast. Each kid reads a joke, pauses, says "I don't get it", and then I explain it, and we all try to ascertain whether it could possibly have been funny.
Kelly Jennings
Kelly Jennings at 2018-05-14 16:16 (UTC) (Link)

Kitten Tattoos

I too love the paw placement on the shoulder kitten -- I like the back paw, too, how it looks like the kitten is pushing against your shoulder, if you see what I mean?
heebie-geebie
heebie_geebie at 2018-05-21 03:04 (UTC) (Link)

Re: Kitten Tattoos

I hadn't thought of it like that - mostly because I was distracted by the belly (which is the Flaw Causing Concern) - but now that you draw my attention to it, I love that as well. Nice observation!
(Anonymous) at 2018-05-16 20:36 (UTC) (Link)

Yay for the fixed eye!

You're right that it wasn't terrible before, but it was definitely a little wrong, and now it looks right. That's great that it was so fixable.

LB
heebie-geebie
heebie_geebie at 2018-05-21 03:06 (UTC) (Link)

Re: Yay for the fixed eye!

I'm incredibly relieved. She was pretty open about what had happened - she said, "I should have trusted the stencil! But I was at an odd angle, and it just seemed to be where the other eye would go. Then when you sent the picture, I knew instantly that it was wrong."
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